LONELY MAY AT NIGHT by NOVAGIRL RATED FRC

There's someone special in Penelope's life...but can she ever tell him?

I don't see you as often as I'd like.

But I'd like to see you everyday, you must realize that. I know I'm not one for emotions, but I think I'd be one for you. Hopefully THE one. Though I know how much you care about her still, I won't deny myself the pleasure of being hopelessly in love with you. It's so warm outside tonight, I can't help but wonder if I'd be roasting where you are. I don't know how you handle it sometimes.

No.

I don't know how you handle it ALL the time.

You're a paradox to me. One moment you're a leader, the next, a stubborn old man....and the very next second, you're the man I fell in love with.

I worry about you. I don't know how much more you can take it, sending your loved ones out day after day after day...How long until you shatter underneath the pressure? I used to believe it would never happen....but I'm starting to doubt that theory. You're breakable, just like the rest of us.

But I'd never let that happen. Not to you. If I could just say it...

That's a very big if. I know very well that you don't want emotions like these, and that you'll cut me out if that's what it takes to keep your mask alive. It saddens me, but a true lady never shows her sadness. She pours the tea and gets on with life. But it's hard to do so when what you want always appears so close. Do you remember in Australia, the two days on my ranch? Those were the happiest days of my life, even if you never knew.

There's much you'll never know.

But hopefully, my secret isn't one of those things. I want to tell you, more than anything.

But how to do it?

I can't just say 'I love you', because I'm not that way. But I can't find the words to adequately describe the sensations that I feel.

And what of the others?

More than anything, the reactions of the others stops me from saying my mind. After all, I don't think they'd be very happy with you going out with someone like me.

So I suppose that telling you is the wrong thing to do.

But I can't not tell you either.

Goodnight, Jeff Tracy. I'll always love you.